God I'm a Wuss

I figured out which job it was- my asking for the job description ploy worked just fine- but now I'm not sure that I want to get it. It's a program assistant job for some run of the mill university department- just the sort of banal, entry level admin thing I was looking for. But now I'm not so sure I want a banal, entry level admin thing. What if I can't pull it off? What if I hate it? What if I get sucked into staying at another useless, mind-numbing job I hate and never go back to school or really start writing or pursuing my singing? Maybe having a month or so to myself to really look for a job I will love and test the office waters with a temp job is really the best thing for me. What if I actually fake my way successfully through the interview, they hire me, and they want me to start next week? And what if when I start they realize that I'm really a huge, 30 year old fraud who has never really had a "real office job"? I mean, does working in the box office of a theatre really count? Half of the employees in my "office" have come to work stoned at one point or another, and the most difficult customer issues we deal with involve grown adults who are wasted; it's hardly a serious corporate environment. It's not like we really do any work, any work that takes skill or managerial savvy, anyway.

I am such a mess. Maybe I'm just too lazy and scared for the real world. Maybe I was a spoiled little princess in my last life and the bad habits made it through to this one. Why can't I just be a hard working, ambitious, career-driven girl like all of my friends? Why am I such wuss?